It's the women like you who sacrifice themselves to care for those around them that receive the least amount of support & care that's needed.
I am a health educator and trainer- I taught research based (pharmaceutical company funded) doctor's continuing medical education for years...
have you looked at your local medical universities running CLINICAL TRIALS on IBS where you are compensated money wise to participate to try new treatments and medications for IBS? It just may be a way to take part in a medical study, receive a drug that may help you, and receive compensation for your time & travel & participation in the study.
Just a thought... it may hook you up with a study that will help treat your IBS and regain your freedom from fear of leaving the house...
also, look at local hospice who offer respite programs to care for family members so you can get time away-- while your mother is not qualified for hospice, they do KNOW where other respite caregiver programs exist for sick families and will offer help to have a caregiver come in as a volunteer and take over some responsibilties for a day or two so you can just have some free time to yourself and RELAX/BREATHE/ENJOY yourself!
Be proud you serve your family- it's as important as serving your country as our military family did!